Here is an inspired short story from innkeeper Tom Dott, of the Lamb and Lion in Barnstable:
“Tell me again!” Office Chair playfully demanded.
Flower Seat, a dainty little upright, wiped tears from her eyes, which were still watering from the last time. “I don’t understand it!” Office Chair said, sounding more defensive, but it was hard to hide his grin. They were all looking toward Old Man Cane--a rickety antique who wore his intricate woven features proudly, in spite of a few frays—all waiting for his joke to wind up again from the very beginning. That’s the way they liked it, from the beginning. It was the joke about the ottoman and the area rug—the one that never failed to keep them in stitches, but Poor Office Chair could never get his head around the punch line.
Red Chair knew the overnight in Barnstable Village was going to be a stop along the journey, and a perfect place to get the old gang back together again. “Alright everyone, let’s stay focused” was the shout from Patio Chair, who they lovingly referred to as “Deck”, because that’s where he always hung out. “This has been great, but I have a birthday party to get to today, and I’m sure I’ll be spending a lot of time under Mrs. Jenkin’s over-sized, cake-loving ass—tell the joke again so I can get home!” Old Man Cane couldn’t contain himself and nearly splintered, and the whole gang erupted in laughter once again—even Office Chair. It was now day break and they had been up all night in fits of playful giddiness, in spite of all their legs being numb from the night’s chill. “That Jenkins, she gonna be the death of you!” shouted Old Man Cane.
When the laughter finally subsided, Red Chair thoughtfully spoke up. “This has been amazing everyone. Maybe the best part of my trip so far”. “So where ya headin’ next?” asked Old Man Cane. “I’m heading further east to meet new friends,” said Red Chair, “But I’ll be back--you know we’ll always find each other.” “Amen to that,” Old Man Cane softly confirmed.
Then they all quietly sat, and sat, and sat, and sat a little longer, listening to the distant coo of a single morning dove. “All right, let’s get this over with” Deck finally chimed in, rolling his eyes. “OH YEAH!!!” Flower Seat exclaimed, vibrating her feet in the grass with anticipation. “One more time, PLEASE!” she squealed. Old Man Cane gave a slow creak and carefully cleared his throat. “OK! Here goes”, he announced, “But you have to keep it down. I tol’ ya, nobody needs to be hearin’ the ottoman and the area rug joke ‘cept us!” He said. “Beside, nobody ‘cept us would even get it—just like ol' Office Chair here!” The laughter erupted once again. Office Chair knew when Old Man Cane was setting him up, but it didn't matter--he loved the chairs--especially the Old Man, and being teased by them was just part of being in their family. “OK, here goes,” Old Main Cane said again, and then he continued to tell the joke about the ottoman and the area rug, and better than the any of the other countless times he told it (and without making it too obvious, he slowed it down, just a tad, for his friend Office Chair).
“….So that’s what they mean when they talk about cleaning the carpet!” came the classic punch line. Red Chair was watching Office Chair for a sign—actually they all were, and then Office Chair—finally--got the joke. He started to giggle…and then giggle a little harder…and then he laughed, and laughed and laughed. He laughed so hard that he started to swivel and spin uncontrollably. Flower Seat was chuckling right along, celebrating Old Man Cane’s most perfect delivery. The rest just watched Office Chair's reaction. The more he laughed and spun, the more they lost it, and round and round, like a game of musical chairs, they laughed themselves to tears---and then the craziest thing that could have happened, happened—Office Chair laughed so hard he bounced off of his wheels and fell back onto the wet, spring grass.
For a split second they gasped in disbelief, and then they roared in hysterics until they all gasped for air. Eventually, one by one, each gained their composure, and finally Deck chimed up, “Man, that joke of yours is funnier than an Ikea Chippendale,” he said, quietly shaking his head as he motioned toward home. “Yep, I guess that’s a wrap!” announced Old Man Cane. “Yep, a wrap!” mimicked Flower Seat, who was helping Office Chair back onto his wheels, and they all said their goodbyes and headed toward their perspective homes. But Red Chair wasn’t thinking about home. There was too much to see out in the world. The warm and foggy morning was now dead silent, with the exception of that one distant morning dove singing about its travels. Red Chair, with all four legs planted firmly on the ground, couldn't help but wonder what the day’s adventures would bring. The End.
“Tell me again!” Office Chair playfully demanded.
Flower Seat, a dainty little upright, wiped tears from her eyes, which were still watering from the last time. “I don’t understand it!” Office Chair said, sounding more defensive, but it was hard to hide his grin. They were all looking toward Old Man Cane--a rickety antique who wore his intricate woven features proudly, in spite of a few frays—all waiting for his joke to wind up again from the very beginning. That’s the way they liked it, from the beginning. It was the joke about the ottoman and the area rug—the one that never failed to keep them in stitches, but Poor Office Chair could never get his head around the punch line.
Red Chair knew the overnight in Barnstable Village was going to be a stop along the journey, and a perfect place to get the old gang back together again. “Alright everyone, let’s stay focused” was the shout from Patio Chair, who they lovingly referred to as “Deck”, because that’s where he always hung out. “This has been great, but I have a birthday party to get to today, and I’m sure I’ll be spending a lot of time under Mrs. Jenkin’s over-sized, cake-loving ass—tell the joke again so I can get home!” Old Man Cane couldn’t contain himself and nearly splintered, and the whole gang erupted in laughter once again—even Office Chair. It was now day break and they had been up all night in fits of playful giddiness, in spite of all their legs being numb from the night’s chill. “That Jenkins, she gonna be the death of you!” shouted Old Man Cane.
When the laughter finally subsided, Red Chair thoughtfully spoke up. “This has been amazing everyone. Maybe the best part of my trip so far”. “So where ya headin’ next?” asked Old Man Cane. “I’m heading further east to meet new friends,” said Red Chair, “But I’ll be back--you know we’ll always find each other.” “Amen to that,” Old Man Cane softly confirmed.
Then they all quietly sat, and sat, and sat, and sat a little longer, listening to the distant coo of a single morning dove. “All right, let’s get this over with” Deck finally chimed in, rolling his eyes. “OH YEAH!!!” Flower Seat exclaimed, vibrating her feet in the grass with anticipation. “One more time, PLEASE!” she squealed. Old Man Cane gave a slow creak and carefully cleared his throat. “OK! Here goes”, he announced, “But you have to keep it down. I tol’ ya, nobody needs to be hearin’ the ottoman and the area rug joke ‘cept us!” He said. “Beside, nobody ‘cept us would even get it—just like ol' Office Chair here!” The laughter erupted once again. Office Chair knew when Old Man Cane was setting him up, but it didn't matter--he loved the chairs--especially the Old Man, and being teased by them was just part of being in their family. “OK, here goes,” Old Main Cane said again, and then he continued to tell the joke about the ottoman and the area rug, and better than the any of the other countless times he told it (and without making it too obvious, he slowed it down, just a tad, for his friend Office Chair).
“….So that’s what they mean when they talk about cleaning the carpet!” came the classic punch line. Red Chair was watching Office Chair for a sign—actually they all were, and then Office Chair—finally--got the joke. He started to giggle…and then giggle a little harder…and then he laughed, and laughed and laughed. He laughed so hard that he started to swivel and spin uncontrollably. Flower Seat was chuckling right along, celebrating Old Man Cane’s most perfect delivery. The rest just watched Office Chair's reaction. The more he laughed and spun, the more they lost it, and round and round, like a game of musical chairs, they laughed themselves to tears---and then the craziest thing that could have happened, happened—Office Chair laughed so hard he bounced off of his wheels and fell back onto the wet, spring grass.
For a split second they gasped in disbelief, and then they roared in hysterics until they all gasped for air. Eventually, one by one, each gained their composure, and finally Deck chimed up, “Man, that joke of yours is funnier than an Ikea Chippendale,” he said, quietly shaking his head as he motioned toward home. “Yep, I guess that’s a wrap!” announced Old Man Cane. “Yep, a wrap!” mimicked Flower Seat, who was helping Office Chair back onto his wheels, and they all said their goodbyes and headed toward their perspective homes. But Red Chair wasn’t thinking about home. There was too much to see out in the world. The warm and foggy morning was now dead silent, with the exception of that one distant morning dove singing about its travels. Red Chair, with all four legs planted firmly on the ground, couldn't help but wonder what the day’s adventures would bring. The End.
Life at the Lamb and Lion Inn in Barnstable is full of happy surprises! | 
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